So freakout. Reset. Freakout. Reset. This is pretty much what my days have been consisting of lately which reminded me of the breathe and reboot concept.
I. AM. BEING. TESTED. And I'm showing up for it. My twin boys are going to be two. I never liked or embraced the concept of "the terrible twos" and I still don't want to hold this idea in my mind, having this expectation of them. And yet there have most definitely been more moments where my patience is tested. Like really tested.
I've been paying really close attention to how I'm responding. As the present mama, I'm supposed to have all of this shit figured out no?
What I realized is that it's not about being zen and calm all the time. That shouldn't be the goal. It's about learning how to reset. and reset. and reset again. That's all I do. I get really frustrated. I freak out. Then I take a deep breath and am present again. They test me. I have to walk away. And then I come back. It's all about bouncing back quickly. But not having an unrealistic expectation of myself. We're all just doing the best we can. And we're human. I'm entitled to my emotions as their mother just like they're allowed to go through all the crazy emotions that come with being two. We both matter. And we'll have to figure it out moment by moment.
Isn't it so much nicer to have this kind of conversation as a mother? A conversation about what it's really like? It's a relief. We need to be honest and have conversations about what it's really like so that we can take off the pressure we put on ourselves to be a certain kind of way all the time. And most importantly, so that we can enjoy motherhood.